


Sentimental Scar

by Caprichoso



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Canon Death, Description of Injuries, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 19:45:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14838020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caprichoso/pseuds/Caprichoso
Summary: "As Axel's flames come rushing forward, hotter than anything ever thrown at Sora before, it occurs to the keyblade wielder that there is no such thing as a friendly fire... and that this instance of 'friendly fire' at the hands of an unlikely but doggedly devoted companion may be the thing that finally cuts his journey short."Axel leaves behind more of a memento than just a keychain. An examination of Axel's sacrifice in KH2, and the aftermath.





	Sentimental Scar

**Author's Note:**

> Dipping a toe into a new fandom! I find the dynamic between these two/three fascinating and heartbreaking, so I had to toss a bit more angst on the pile.
> 
> Warning for a somewhat vivid description of an injury. Title and ending quote lifted from the fantastic song "Sentimental Scar" by Iris: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRIjGKIBW7E

As Axel's flames come rushing forward, hotter than anything ever thrown at Sora before, it occurs to the keyblade wielder that there is no such thing as a friendly fire... and that this instance of "friendly fire" at the hands of an unlikely but doggedly devoted companion may be the thing that finally cuts his journey short.

_Reflega_  dies on Sora's lips before it even starts; there's no time, no time to save himself-- or Goofy or Donald, off in the distance-- and just barely enough time for the regret that he won't see _them_  again. He's heard that when you're about to die, your thoughts fly to the person your heart loves most, so he's really not sure what it says about him that instead of going straight to Kairi, or even directly to Riku, his mind settles right between the two of them... and for some inconceivable reason, a little bit on the veritable stranger who just killed him.

Sora's eyes squeeze shut of their own accord as the heatwave blasts him. Pain flares just a bit forward and down from his left hipbone, and he grits his teeth and waits for the flames to slam into the rest of his body... but though the burning winds howl and he feels as though he's being baked alive, the fire itself only reaches him in that one spot.

It's over in a matter of seconds. When Sora opens his eyes, the Nobodies are gone-- all of them but one, anyway, and the telltale wisps of darkness floating around him are proof enough that he won't last much longer.

The goodbye shouldn't hurt nearly as much as it does (he barely knows this strange being fading back into nothingness, and yet some part of him wants to cradle Axel in his arms and scream at him to stay and to hold on so they can share a sea salt ice cream and _I would too_  even though none of those statements but the first makes any sense). When there's nothing left to commemorate Axel's existence but a chain, Sora grasps the spiked circle in fingers that are trembling too hard and pushes on his knees until he can finally stand.

There's an odd sting at his hip, almost like a sunburn, and he gingerly untucks the shirt that's already mended itself as always, revealing skin that will take much more effort to mend. The murmured _Curaga_  is almost out of Sora's mouth before it sticks in his throat; that same compulsion that nearly had him screaming nonsense at Axel is now keeping him from healing the wound from the Nobody's uncontrolled blast.

_Not uncontrolled_ , says a feeling, a notion; if thoughts were likened to water, this would be a mist hanging in the air. But the notion is enough to give him pause. Axel had obliterated literal hundreds of Nobodies in a single blow, yet the only collateral damage was...

Sora stares at the patch of skin that's not skin anymore, burned to ash and blown away right down to something yellow-white with an odd shine to it. He's seen the layers of skin illustrated in his science textbook, knows by rote memorization that there's a layer of fat underneath, but it's another thing to see it in the flesh-- in _his_  flesh.

All told, it's not too big-- roughly the same size and definitely the same spiked-circle shape as the charm of the new keychain dangling from his bewildered fingers. It lies just below the start of that V of muscle that slopes down and inward, that place that has recently become so sensitive in ways Sora can't quite bring himself to consider until his mission is finished. He knows in that moment that the mark is something intentional from Axel, a gift or a request or both in one, three words he was obsessed with repeating... or perhaps three he never said aloud.

This message isn't for Sora, can't be, though he can't imagine why Axel would put it in so intimate a place if he intended it for someone else to find. The only ones Sora would ever want seeing this part of him are Riku and Kairi, and the thought of that makes him blush and tingle in a frightening but not unpleasant way-- and nearly mutter the healing spell again out of mortification, but he catches himself just in time.

This scar, just this one, he wants to keep, though the why of that decision slips away every time he tries to grab onto it.

\----

That night, they camp by the portal in the World That Never Was, gathering their strength before what they hope will be one final push. While Donald and Goofy lie slumped against one another, snoring and oblivious, Sora explores the mark once more.

He's always thought of burns as painful, so it comes as a surprise when he gingerly touches a fingertip to the worst of it and feels nothing, not even the smallest sensation. Prodding at the reddened flesh surrounding the deeper parts leaves him wincing, though, and it's then that he realizes the nerves have been killed off entirely in the most damaged areas.

He nearly laughs aloud at the thought of a Nobody's memento being a lack of feeling, but he keeps himself quiet, stifling the perverse giggles as best he can by biting down on his hand. For the life of him, he can't tell what's so funny about it, and still he can't stop laughing, no matter how hard he clamps his teeth down. He stays silent through it all, even as tears start rolling down his cheeks, even as the laughter turns to choked-back sobs and he's nearly overcome by an urge to howl his pain into the sky... but it's not his pain, really. This pain belongs to Roxas.

The name means something to Sora; he can't put a face with it, doesn't know who it is or why he's carrying another person's memories, but he knows he _should_  know, like the words to a song where he only remembers the melody. If he strains to capture whatever he can, he's rebuffed by that stabbing, hot-and-cold pain that seems to come from the very center of his brain whenever he chases a memory from the year where he shouldn't have any. He was asleep, maybe comatose; if anything, his memories should be of floating and white light, but there's so much more than that, and something tells him they're not dreams. Dreams don't make you crumple to the floor in agony when you try to remember them.

He knows from experience that if he rides it out till the sweat rolls down his face and back and he's just shy of vomiting, there will be a flicker of something. Sometimes it's a sunset, or the vague flavor of salt and sweet cream, but most often it's a scent-- sweat and leather and smoke and something else. He's smelled it since he woke up, has the name that goes with it memorized, but before today there had been no reason thoughts of Axel should have been painful. That memory and its accompanying hollow ache aren't his, aren't meant for him, don't belong to him. For these fleeting impressions to have survived so long inside Sora, they must have meant the world to Roxas, and Sora would give them back in a heartbeat if only he knew where to find him.

From somewhere out in this strange not-world, the not-voice that has stayed inside his head until now beckons him toward the tall building in the distance. Clenching his fist around Axel's charm, Sora wipes away his tears and nods, not quite fully understanding what he's agreeing to but determined to make good on his word.

 

_Throw your body against the wall_  
_And awaken the fear of your own destruction_  
_I can tell you I've been there, man_  
_And pain is a wonderful emotion_

**Author's Note:**

> Any and all reviews will be treasured.


End file.
